Why are some people always late? Is it true that they’re simply disrespectful, rude or ungrounded? I don’t think it’s so black and white. Here’s my story (and a photo of me and the boys running – my natural pace when I’m out and about.)
To this day, my lack of punctuality has been a source of great shame. Since I began arriving late for things about 30 years ago (at age eight, just after a death in the family and other traumas), I have apologised tens of thousands of times to the outside world, for being anywhere from 5 minutes late to not even turning up for events, mainly due to anxiety.
July 2023 – I love this TEDx talk by Grace Pacie about always being late! So helpful.
Sept 2021 – I’ve been diagnosed as twice-exceptional at 40. Autistic or artistic? See this blog
Conquering time has been a mental Uluru* – something I’ve seen as a huge physical block preventing me from moving forwards and having a clear future. I’ve tried to climb this block, avoid this block, destroy this block, all to no avail. Perhaps it’s time to honour this block today – to see it as a sacred (in)site/ insight into my greatest purpose? Because this block could be with me for the rest of this life – and I’m tired of trying to fight it. *Did you know? Uluru is thought to be the Solar Plexus (power centre) of Earth.
Why I’m writing this post now?
Recently I have met many clients whose psychic readings revolved around losing their father (early in life or recently), not talking to their father and/ or a mistrustful relationship with Father Sky (aka the conventional idea of God). Just yesterday, I read for someone whose body image is her mental Uluru (thank you for the inspiration Tania). This pattern makes sense, as 2019 is a Universal 12/3 Year of Inner Child Healing and Creative Breakthroughs, and June is a 9 Universal Month of Healing and Conclusions. Everyone’s Solar Plexus (3rd) chakra is super activated, and we’re clearing our baggage around being powerful vs being persecuted. This is a time to find our happy endings and to be our own Fairy Godmothers or Godfathers. See my 2019 Forecast webinar for more.
A History of (Inner) Violence
I come from a long line of shouters – people who shout at themselves, inside themselves and at the world in general. My family has both a history of mental illness (recognised) and psychic ability (unrecognised, until I came along and embarrassed the crap out of my family tree). This background has given me compassion for anyone with a loud inner critic (aka an unemployed inner genius). I know what it’s like to fight just to get out of bed in the morning. Where some people have an obvious disability (like wearing glasses – also something I do), I see my punctuality as an inner disability. I do not say this lightly. I say this after trying for decades to change myself and watching my self-confidence sink lower and lower with each attempt at fitting in.
The Benefits of Being Chronically Late
I’ve been a Holistic and spiritual counsellor long enough to know that there must be an up-side to being late, otherwise I would have cured myself by now. Here are some thoughts on where this character defect may actually have helped me:
-I missed dying in the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami by a few minutes, due to running late. Read more
-I had to leave my 9-5 career in science, government and fundraising due to being permanently stressed over the constant deadlines. This resulted in my starting my numerology and palmistry career, which introduced me to my husband (during my first TV interview – see video) and may have saved my life. I was diagnosed with anorexia in 2012, which I believe comes from a lifetime of trying to shrink myself to fit other people’s expectations and fears.
-The people who’ve stuck with me are the ones with unconditional love and open hearts – I am truly grateful for their presence. Clock watchers avoid me like the plague.
-I’ve learned to believe in miracles, because so many times when I thought I missed the boat/ train/ lunch date, it turns out I just avoided an accident, storm, etc.
-I’m an expert at dealing with criticism, because I’m so easy to criticise! So I’ve have survived all kinds of personal and workplace bullying (including at the UN).
-I save myself the pain of being stuck in the middle of crowds because by the time I arrive at functions, I can sit at the very front or back. This is a godsend for me, as I have psychic/ Silk skin and pick up on people’s feelings like water picks up sediment (no kidding, my Honours Thesis was in contaminated groundwater – yep, the physical equivalent of toxic buried emotions…!
The Pain of Being Chronically Late
I’m not going to sugarcoat this but being late has also marred my life in so many ways, mainly because I constantly feel like a failure!! Here’s some of the ways my different approach to timeliness has hurt me:
-I’m sure this trait is related to my eating disorder history, as I forget to eat or lose my appetite when I’m fight-or-flight mode (which was the case most of childhood).
-I’ve missed out on many opportunities because people judged me without getting to know me.
-I’ve worked hundreds of hours in unpaid overtime in jobs because I felt guilty about being late.
-I’ve been penalised financially, threatened with termination and/ or embarrassed in public for not getting to work on time.
-Partners and friends have left or teased me because of my lack of organisational skills.
-I’ve wasted countless days if not weeks of my life beating myself up and telling myself I’m a loser because I can’t even read a clock properly. And so on.
A Spiritual Look at Being Chronically Late
Here are some thoughts for those of you who wonder if there’s a deeper meaning to being late all the time:
1) Maybe you’re here to teach compassion and timelessness? Since childhood, I’ve had futuristic ideas and humanitarian aspirations to change the world. It’s only now that I’m a mother that I can see these qualities in the new generation (born 2000-, see my article on psychic children). Maybe you aren’t late, you’re just early for the next Shift? I find it hilarious and humbling that I am so mean to myself about being late, when my entire calling is about predicting Divine timing…!
2) Maybe you’re here to escape the rat race and to free the other, um, rats?! I was never able to stay in the corporate or bureaucratic world, because my body just couldn’t cope with the timed lunch breaks and simmering office politics. As a result, I’ve created a business that feeds the local community, especially women’s needs.
3) Maybe you’re learning to be yourself, through being unpopular? Great thinkers are rarely honoured at the time they deliver their brilliance – humans are by nature pretty sceptical so patience is essential if you truly want to bring through innovation. As much as I dislike standing out like a sore thumb (because of my lateness, and being a six-foot-tall Asian chick, among other things), it’s taught me to own my individuality and to be a pioneer for understanding.
4) Maybe you’re here to be an ambassador for the voiceless or the Other Side? I had a lightbulb moment in my cultural awareness training before I worked at Kakadu National Park with the traditional owners. The trainer was explaining that some cultures believe in linear time (e.g. the West), where you are born, you live and then you die. However other cultures believe in spiral or cyclical time (e.g. the East), where you are reborn, you live and then you are reborn.
Wow. I instantly knew that was why I felt so conflicted – because I am a Chinese born Australian and I believe in second chances (especially now that I do past life regressions). No wonder I’ve done so much charity and spiritual work – I believe that everyone’s worldview has something to offer. When we force conformity, we lose evolution.
Practical Tips for Alleviating Lateness
Spiritual awesomeness aside, what can you do if being late really is holding you back? Here are a few things that have helped me enormously:
1) Ask for help from people who are more organised. I function better when I have someone (an assistant, my husband, etc.) who gives me 30-, 15- and 5- minute warnings before I need to go to appointments or get ready for things. Kris (a 1 Lifepath Action Hero) and I share a Google calendar so he can help me stay on track. Without these prompts, I just keep doing what I’m doing until I feel finished. Attending Tony Attwood and Sue Larkey’s workshop on Asperger’s and autism confirmed for me that a team approach makes sense when you have a brain like mine. See my post on Asperger’s syndrome.
2) Enlist the help of your Spiritual Guides. After I asked my helpers upstairs (aka God/ The Angels/ The Peeps) to keep me on track at work, things changed radically in my business. Now, I find that when I go too far overtime, my energy just cuts out – sometimes, the lights in the room will even flicker or switch off – or the phone call will cut out. I love this, because my scientific mind is very proof-driven and I enjoy practical evidence of Divine Love.
3) Communicate with courage. All my email reminders, my website, everything, have a little disclaimer that I tend to start and run late for appointments. For years, I resisted including this sentence because I kept thinking ‘by the time they show up, I’ll have fixed myself’. Well, that didn’t work – it just resulted in a lot of annoyed people and even some refunds or credit notes. I think of myself as a specialist – unlike a GP, I don’t work to time per se, I work until the job is done. I mean, imagine if you came in with a broken leg and the doctor kicked you out halfway through setting the bone? That just doesn’t seem moral or fair.
4) Structure your life so it works. Each night, I spend time reflecting on my day in a series of diaries. Then I write 3-5 things to do the next day and visualise accomplishing them. I often wake up in the night or the early morning to prepare food, etc. as my children are so young that the hours of 6am – 9pm are go-time (I’m working and still breastfeeding).
FYI You may want to examine your relationship with your father (see section on Father Time below), or even your iron levels, as anaemia is spiritually associated with frustration with authority (in my experience) – it’s like you don’t feel good or God enough to take what you need to succeed. See my post on forgiving your parents. Solar plexus chakra and gut healing may also help – our Liver function is linked to decisiveness in Chinese Medicine. I find that going to bed early and having daytime naps makes a HUGE difference to my timeliness – I need time to decompress. See Jost Sauer’s thoughts on the chi cycle.
Knowing that I am a soft heart and tend to keep talking after the bell has gone, I book clients in a row (with half an hour break) so that I can say ‘I have to go now’ as I know how long it takes me to write up a numerology chart, etc. Working from home using Zoom for calls and having clients visit me also makes for happiness, as my already patchy sense of direction disappears when I’m in psychic mode. So driving to someone’s house can take ages.
5) Avoid peak hour and crowds of energetically messy people. I find that waking up early and doing my Detox Relationships meditation plus self-Reiki, massage and alternative nostril breathing, gives me a sense of peace that keeps me (more) on time. I also schedule my life to avoid peak hour traffic (which makes me feel sick due to the smell, confinement and general dis-ease) and unruly crowds. I like to go shopping late at night, or to festivals when they are opening or closing. I stay away from hordes of people on drugs or alcohol if possible, as I pick up on their stuff.
6) Educate and resource yourself! I used to have panic attacks for no apparent reason. These days, that is less common – I am more able to identify the sources of my overwhelm and deal with them. Having trained in Holistic counselling, psychic work, past life regression and so on, I’m not afraid of being in public like I used to be.
I have many techniques for staying calm amidst the chaos these days – e.g.
–Chakra Balancing Blend from Perfect Potion (I find this oil helps me to instantly reset and centre) – I love teaching with this company in Brisbane – see my reading for Salvatore Battaglia,
–ABFE Space Clearing Essence Mist (deletes any lingering energies) – see my reading for Ian White
-carrying crystals like black tourmaline and haematite and
-being assertive about my personal space. See Judith Orloff’s site on empaths.
-I also use knowledge of my personal years in numerology, plus the moon and my period cycles, to plan my schedule.
-You can also look into balancing your Earth element (grounding – from Traditional Chinese Medicine), balancing your Vata element (Ayuerveda) and your Myers-Briggs personality type (I am an ENFP/ INFP, we are prone to losing track of time).
7) Trust that you are not alone – that you are here for a higher purpose. If I got caught up in all the crap people have said to me over the years, I would be spiritually if not physically dead. Learning numerology, palmistry and about my Soul has truly given me a reason to live, especially when I see the tears, laughter and comfort in the faces of my clients, students and family-of-creation.
Honestly, being late is a thorn in my side, but out of the character flaws I could have chosen it is not the worst. Look yourself in the mirror today and give yourself some love. Your eyes are the windows to the Universe, and there is so much more to you than could ever be explained in words. You are a one in 108 billion* miracle!! *The number of people thought to have ever been born on Earth.
In Conclusion – Here’s Some Numerology About Time, to Lighten Your Way
I hope this article helps you to see yourself, time and other people in a sweeter light.
In numerology, every word, name and address can be reduced to a number (see the system). So:
TIME adds to 2945 = 20/2, the same vibration as TIDE, FLOW, ROCK, DEATH and MASSAGE. 2 energy is about the Sacral Chakra (our reproductive system and feelings). One person’s sense of timing may not be like another’s – it depends on what race they are here to run, or not run. I used to work in marine turtle conservation and the joke was, they were the only animal I was slow enough to catch (on land). Yet turtles are wonderful swimmers. That’s so relevant as a metaphor, because although I am a ditz who can’t even catch a bus on time, I can connect to the Divine Pool of wisdom in seconds for the purposes of self and other healing.
LATE adds to 3125 = 11/2, the same as LUCK and WALK. 11/2 energy is about seeing both sides of the picture for relationship harmony. Perhaps being late has been my greatest luck, because if I had fit in, I would have never looked within. I’ve also had to walk my talk as a spiritual teacher, in that I’m so obviously flawed that there is no escaping my own lessons in responsibility and honesty. As a 29/11/2 Lifepath in numerology, I’m here to polarise people into double beginnings and action. Find your lifepath
LATENESS adds to 31255511 = 23/5, the same as LIFE, APPLE and BUDDHAS. 5 energy is about flexibility and non-judgement. Maybe it’s time we stop worried about lateness and focused more on presence. As Dan Millman says, there are no ordinary moments.
EARLY adds to 51937 = 25/7, the same as HEART, MORTAL, SOULMATE, SPORT and TRUTHS. Who knows, maybe my lateness is related to my low blood pressure? Maybe it’s because I tend to attract very punctual partners and need to balance them? Maybe it’s all just a fun game for the Universe so the Angels can bet on how late I’m going to be today…all I know is that 7 energy is about the Crown Chakra and holding your head high, no matter what. To know that you were born with a halo, even if other people tear it off repeatedly. To trust, that you know what is best for you. See my story about a car crash involving a driver called…Early (!!)
PUNCTUALITY adds to 73532313927 = 45/9, the same as COMMITMENTS, MARRIAGE and HOUSEWORK. Haha, who knows, maybe I would be on time if I just stopped doing so many inner and outer chores. 9 energy is about the Soul Blueprint chakra and connecting to the Universe to rewrite history. It’s about surrender and forgiveness – an egoic death to allow the marriage of the head and heart to flourish. Now, there’s some food for thought!
Thank you, to everyone who has led to the writing of this article.
Thank you for waiting for me – and sometimes, not waiting for me.
Thanks Julie Tester for the photo of me running with the kids.
I love you. Please, love yourselves back today.
Find Your Lifepath and my 11:11 Clocks page
I’m psychic, not psycho. Also, twice-exceptional. Very 11 life path, huh?
Empaths Versus Psychopaths And How To Just Be The Path! The heart knows time is a construct
You Can’t Not Belong – Four Ways to Forgive Your Family (Especially Your Parents)
8 Spiritual Ways to Stop Bullying – Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight
Thoughts on Asperger’s Syndrome, Anorexia and Psychic Ability – it was a question about my lateness that led me to Asperger’s research! Note: ADHD and Time blindness is a topic I plan to write about in future as well.
Tardiness and Executive Dysfunction (helpful article)
Bonus section – Father Time vs Mother Earth
I wrote regularly on male-female polarity, which is part of my mission as an 11:11 Spiritual Messenger. The 11:11 Frequency (Age of Aquarius) is about seeing other people as ‘one love’ – as entire Souls, with past, present and future lives, who cannot be dismissed as one-dimensional friends or enemies. This is a radical shift from the previous Age of Pisces (1 111) – picture the first 1 as twice the size, where capitalism (head over heart) dominated. Where you always had to kow-tow to someone who knew more than you – God, priests, gurus, teachers, parents, bosses etc. Where cutting people down to size was the norm.
Note: Here’s the 11:11 image I made in Canva (using a stock photo) which had a massive positive response on social media. I only realised recently that it’s got Uluru in it.
Father Time or Father Sky is classified as a masculine force, but it’s just a force. It encompasses the invisible influences that shape our lives and has a strong correlation with linearity, logic, science and analysis. Although I’m in a female body, I have plenty of androgynous qualities, and am a scientist with a strong connection to my father (I was born when he was 32, his lifepath turning point as a 32/5 Spiritual Rebel lifepath – that’s a sign that we are each other’s teachers). Much of my work as a spiritual coach is helping women to access their courage and guidance, so they can overcome career, financial and confidence blocks.
Mother Earth is classified as a female force, but again this is just a human distinction. It encompasses the visible influences we tend to be more comfortable with and has a correlation with spirals, cycles, creativity, the arts and intuition/ holism. Although my husband Kris Anderson is in a male body, he has an incredibly soft side, including a beautiful connection to his mother and the Divine Feminine. That’s why we do psychic readings as a couple (which is very rare!) to help people see both sides of their Souls. He helps people to ground into their bodies and trust their feelings are taking them home to their peace.
2021 update – see Why You Chose Your Mother, my numerology and mother healing class($99) for many helpful tips
Hint: As an ex-fundraiser who worked for many charities until she burned out, I’ve come to believe that Mother Earth doesn’t need saving, she needs support to recover. The idea that humans are solely responsible for destroying and fixing Earth promotes exhaustion, egotism, apathy and climate change melancholia. As we clean up our inner states and reconnect to Source/ our spiritual natures, we naturally begin healing our outer landscapes.
The greatest tragedy is not the plastic in the sea (although that definitely sucks), it’s the garbage beliefs in our heads telling us that we are inherently sinful and dirty. We treat our bodies the way we treat the world, which is our greater body. Cleaning up either one takes a team of people and Guardian Angels – it’s not something we can do alone, or to be guilt-tripped into doing. Open your third eye and mind and you’ll see that Earth is simply a school and we all have friends in higher places.
14/6/2019 Thanks for sending me the link to your new article. Was a great read! I’m glad I gave you inspiration to write it. As soon as I saw the title I was like “Omg! We didn’t even talk about how I’m chronically late all the time too!! How did she know?” Haha!! Tania (the client who inspired this post)
When I saw the tagline “losing track of (father) time”, my mind immediately thought, “so we can find mother”. not sure if that is mother nature or some other maternal energy, but sharing my thoughts! Kim Guernsey. My reply – I relate to that as I am so in my mother energy now that I have time to breathe x Thanks Sarah!
This makes me feel so much better about being consistently late 😄 I’m always stopping to smell the roses 🌹 “No Ordinary Moments” is one of my all time favourite books xo Julie Tester (my friend who took the cover photo). My reply – Julie this article totally needed to be written then 😀 xx love you heaps