11:11 is more than just a symbol for new beginnings, it’s about the Age of Aquarius, in which groups of people stand up and fight for their rights. It’s a reminder that we are never alone.
As a Master 11 Lifepath (The Spiritual Messenger) in numerology, I’ve often been used by Spirit to bring light and truth to complex and painful situations. I realised this after training in Holistic counselling and becoming a psychic reader.
Throughout my life, I’ve always attracted people, businesses and families in transition, who need monumental help and support.For this reason, I sometimes joke that my lifepath should be called a Master 11 ‘Don’t Shoot The Messenger’, given the amount of whistleblowing I’ve had to do in my 35 years on the planet.
Bullying can be defined as: repeated, aggressive behaviour that someone uses to create distress and fear in another person.
In numerology, BULLY adds to 18/9, the same vibration as LOVE. They say that people are either asking for, or giving love. I guess bullies are squarely in the first category. BULLYING adds to 39/12/3, the vibration of FREEDOM. Hmm. Perhaps going through bullying is an opportunity for us to find inner peace?(Read more about the Pythagorean alphabet-number system I’ve used)
Having been bullied, and at times, the bully in life, I’d like to share with you some ideas on overcoming bullying . It’s a hard cycle to break, but the journey is worth it. As long as you engage in power struggles with other Souls, you will never have the energy to reach your potential and live up to your lifepath (find your lifepath here).
Know your limits.
Have faith and integrity.
If it’s making you sick, LEAVE.
Forgive the person, not the behaviour.
Love yourself more, not less.
Listen to your heart. Literally.
Stop bullying yourself.
Swap the need to be right for the right to be happy.
1) Know your limits. When I was 8, I was bullied daily about my skin colour, flat face, uniform, etc., but I still had a lot of inner fire.
The boys at school used to play handball against a wall in the playground. One day, I decided that I wanted to play there instead, and asked my friends to join me. Unfortunately, once we began, the boys began pegging (throwing) tennis balls at us, until my friends ran away. Being incredibly stubborn, I just stood there and refused to move (blame my big front teeth – in Chinese face reading ‘rabbit teeth’ are linked to determination and a large appetite!) However, in the end, even I had to give up because the pain was too much.
What I learned: In general, you can’t overcome a bully on your own. Bullies are almost always physically and/ or mentally stronger than those they pick on. Don’t see backing down as a failure, but as an invitation to be creative. Get support before you confront a bully – the more, the better. I often see my counsellor Alison Lee, before and after I have to deal with a difficult person.
2) Have faith and integrity. Karma is real. What goes around, comes around tenfold, and this is especially the case with bullying. I once worked in an office where I found out a co-worker was misleading clients. I told their manager, only to be labelled a troublemaker and told I was lying. Fortunately, my manager believed me and eventually, I was proven right. My actions saved our company from a very expensive lawsuit.
What I learned: The truth always rises to the surface, the same way a lotus grows from a swamp. Never lower yourself to the level of your bullies – stay honest and stick to the facts when reporting their behaviour. The last thing you want to do is exaggerate things and lose credibility. As they say ‘he who throws mud, loses ground.’
3) If it’s making you sick, LEAVE. You have one life in this body and every second is worth a million dollars, in spiritual terms. If a bully is making you ill, leave the situation. No marriage/ job/ lifestyle is worth dying for. I wish someone had told me this a long time ago! During my 20’s, I experienced such intense workplace harassment that I ended up in hospital, yet all I could think about was ‘oh no, now I’ll never get a reference.’ I was psychologically bound to my harasser in the most twisted way possible. Thank God my friends and colleagues help me to escape this situation.
What I learned: Like all abusive relationships, people who are bullied start believing that it’s ‘better the Devil you know’ and become stuck. I experienced a similar decline in clarity during my struggle with anorexia.
If it gets to the point where you are constantly sick, and your loved ones express concern, take a break! Even a short holiday can help you to regain perspective.
4) Forgive the person, not the behaviour. I believe that we attract bullies into our life to learn assertiveness, boundary-setting and communication skills. Often our first experience of bullying comes from childhood, as a result of having domineering parents. I believe that we choose our families (read more), in order to evolve ourselves and them. However, just because you selected your parents, doesn’t mean they have the right to mistreat you. It’s like choosing a restaurant – you have the right to complain if you get food poisoning or bad service!
Some of my relatives and family friends are still extremely opposed to my work doing psychic readings. I recall when one of them sat next to me at lunch last year and implied, in front of my parents, that I was going to Hell and was obviously possessed by a demon.
It was hard to finish my noodles after that, but I reminded myself that he was simply trying to save my soul (he was a born-again Christian). Given my Christian upbringing, I understood where he was coming from. Nevertheless, I chirpily replied that there wasn’t much difference between his faith healers who spoke in tongues and psychics. In fact, I consider my work a lot more logical…
What I learned: As they say, an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. One way to protect yourself against bullies is to educate yourself in areas like psychic protection, emotional intelligence, active listening and effective or non-violent communication. You can also ‘raise your vibration’ through meditation, yoga, chanting, martial arts like Aikido and other nourishing practices.
Bullies often use black-and-white accusations to try to suppress you. When you understand their manipulation methods, and have a peaceful mind/ body/ Spirit, you can separate a bully’s actions from their intrinsically lovable Souls. That’s a type of enlightenment.
5) Love yourself more, not less. When I was younger, I used to attract physically or mentally intimidating partners, who often had alcohol problems (read my metaphysical take on alcoholism). I still remember grabbing a hunting knife off my ex, to prevent him from stabbing someone. Another time, an ex drove our car at 180km/ hour to frighten me into agreeing with him.
No wonder I ended up with severe eating and digestive issues. When you are constantly scared, all the blood goes to your extremities rather than your stomach. You live in survival mode and everything feels like life or death/ fight or flight. Then once your adrenalin runs out, the chronic fatigue and depression sets in.
What I learned: During my group therapy at ISIS – The Eating Issues Centre in Brisbane I read a quote on the wall that profoundly moved me. From memory, it was something like ‘to look after yourself is an act of rebellion in a consumerist society that always wants you to be more, do more and have more’.
If you are actively being bullied, or are recovering from a bullying situation, baby yourself in a healthy way. Eat organic food instead of junk. Sleep more rather than doing extra work. Take up that class you want to do instead of worrying about how much it costs.
You can’t fill a hole by digging it deeper. Spirit loves when we value ourselves (read my tips for manifesting money).
6) Listen to your heart. Literally. When it all gets too much, place a hand over your heart (preferably against your bare skin) and take some nice, deep breaths until you can feel your heart beating. This can take a while if you’ve been stressed and living in your head. Once you’re connected to your heart, talk to it like a friend. Ask it what it needs, and if it has any guidance for you?
Physical touch and belly breathing techniques are extremely soothing for those times you are having a panic attack, or wake up anxious at night. Just holding yourself or rubbing your skin helps you to stay present. I also find Somato Respiratory Integration and Network Spinal Analysis helpful (I go to the Infinite Potential Centre at Tallebudgera for these treatments).
People who are in touch with their bodies have excellent intuition. When my car was vandalised and had the door kicked in, the police said it was unlikely they would ever find the culprit. I stayed hopeful. Something told me that justice would prevail. Sure enough, several months later, a man confessed to the crime while being arrested for a different offence. The police were stunned! I was happy, because my car got fixed for free. Whew.
What I learned: In numerology, 11:11 adds to 4 and the Fourth Chakra is our Heart. So an alternative meaning for seeing 11:11 on clocks is to follow your heart (the code 4:44 or 444 has a similar meaning). How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How do you recover from bullying? One breath at a time. One heartbeat at a time. Moment by moment.
Bullies want you to give them your auric power and energy. The more you think about them, the more life they suck out of you.
No wonder some people become suicidal (which, by the way, is never the answer – I have people in past life regressions tell me this a lot). When you reconnect with your heart, you increase your true power and remind yourself that life goes on, no matter what. That inner freedom is something a bully can never take from you.
7) Stop bullying yourself. Byron Katie has a saying ‘end the war within’. You teach people how to treat you. If you keep putting yourself down, you’ll become a prime target for the local bully.
From experience, I found that the hardest part of being bullied was the constant stream of negative thoughts such as:
‘If only I were stronger/ braver/ smarter, this wouldn’t have happened’
‘If I just tried harder they would like me’
‘I will never be able to get out of this situation’
‘It’s all my fault’
‘Maybe I’m just too sensitive’
There’s no magic bullet to dealing with this internal criticism, however what’s worked for me is self-education, seeking counselling and daily journalling. See my post on stopping self-criticism here. There’s something about getting your pain onto paper that’s very cathartic. When I free write, I can see the program that’s running me, and stop the mayhem, for example by using affirmations, prayer and asking my Spirit Guides to help create miracles (read more).
I remember a time when I needed to move house due to a difficult relationship with the owners. Part of me wanted to stay and fight them, while another part of me wanted to get out of there quick smart. The inner conflict ate up a lot of my time and energy.
Good old Composite Whorl fingerprints (read more), they give me psychic powers but also the ability to see both sides, to the point of analysis paralysis! Luckily, my partner helped me to move on.
What I learned: Once you stop bullying yourself, you stop attracting people who highlight your Shadow side. Monitoring your thoughts and moods is a vital step in recovering from bullying.
Over time, you’ll reprogram your brain to look for the good in life, rather than focusing on, and expanding, the problems.
Consider keeping a diary so you can record your hopes, dreams and problems. Each night before bed, I list things I am grateful for, and what I have done well (read more on Palmistry Sun Lines and keeping a gratitude journal).
8) Swap the need to be right, for the right to be happy. You can be right, or you can be happy, never both. If you think you’re the victim, you’re right. If you think you’re a free spirit, you’re right. The one thing a bully cannot take from you is your ability to choose your attitude. There’s a beautiful poem:
Two men looked through the prison bars –
One saw mud, the other, stars.
I was in court today, resolving an issue that has been going on for more than six months. By the time I walked into the courtroom, I had already surrendered the outcome to God. I spent most of yesterday revising the paperwork and praying to my Grandma. Why my Grandma? Because when she was alive, she represented herself in a British colonial court in Singapore and won. Back then that was a phenomenal outcome, due to the racism.
Fortunately, I won my case this afternoon, however even if I hadn’t, I would have walked away satisfied. Since I fell pregnant with Forrest Bump (read more), I’ve realised that anger is a shortcut to Hell. Instead of raging about things I can’t change, I’ve gone back to singing lessons, cooking and achieving my bucket list goals (like doing stand up comedy – watch my debut).
What I learned: Bullies happen. Anger happens. Growth happens too, but only if you leave your comfort zone once in a while.
When it comes down to it, being bullied is an invitation to grow bigger than your fears. Don’t let the b*stards get you down! Keep doing what makes you happy and I promise, you will make it through this experience. And if in doubt, you could always do what I do – blog about your story and use it to help others heal.
11:11 is a sign of eternal comfort. Your Guides are always with you. Ask them to give you a sign now – you might feel a tingle, temperature change or even see or hear them.
Spirit loves you, because you are lovable – you always have been, and always will be, good enough in the eyes of the Universe!
Remember – you came to Earth to learn. Smooth waters do not make for good sailors. The reason I included Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight in the title is that this is the secret to success (including success in stopping a bully). Never give up!
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How to Stop Self-Criticism
My Favour-eight Meditations – How to Meet Your Spirit Guides & Clear Your Energy
How I Stay Psychic – My Healers and Teachers
Find Your Lifepath and Personal Year