Happy early Valentine’s Day to you! I am a big romantic, who believes that ‘words are important’ – in fact words of affirmation are one of my favourite Love Languages (see Gary Chapman’s book and website The Five Love Languages).
Here are 12 of my favourite quotes on love. I’d like to dedicate this blog post to my gorgeous man Kris (see the video of our first meeting here! Fast forward to 3 min 41 seconds). Some are personal sayings, others I have picked up along the way. If you know the authors of them please email me so I can attribute them correctly.
1) You can only love someone as much as you love yourself.
We live in an fair Universe where you get what you give. When you show the Universe and other people that you love yourself (e.g. by nurturing yourself, eating well and asking for what you want), you attract people who are equally compassionate. That’s why one of the biggest secrets to writing a romantic wishlist is to only list qualities for a partner that you are willing to live up to.
2) Your love of life determines the quality of your love life (Sarah Yip).
Happy, cheerful people are never alone for long. They always attract friends and partners with their positive energy. So if you are having issues with relationships, it can be useful to ask ‘does my life inspire or drain me? Am I following my heart’s desires?’ If not, maybe that’s why love seems scarce…there are too many crises in the way. imagine that your heart is a rowing boat – if there is a leak you will be too busy bailing out water to enjoy the tropical sunset!
3) You teach people how to treat you.
Self-responsibility isn’t about martyring yourself. It’s the ‘ability to respond to your self’. A self-responsible person balances their needs with those of others. They also take action towards their goals and create their future instead of waiting for a lotto win or partner to magically rescue them. We often need to overcome our inner critic in order to feel true self-acceptance and to reclaim our power.
4) When you are faithful to yourself, you attract faithfulness in others (Sarah Yip).
This quote is not only about self-respect, it’s about self-expression. When a Kookaburra acts like a Kookaburra, it attracts birds of a feather. If the Kookaburra tries to acts like a Magpie then mass confusion can result. Do what you love – dance, sing, chant, write, cook, play sport – not only will your love of life and love life be amazing, you will teach other people that individuality is beautiful. Read more on faithfulness and karma in relationships.
5) It’s your job to love yourself and everyone else’s job to push your buttons (after Byron Katie).
I love Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Mastery of Love as well as Byron Katie’s books Loving What Is and I Need Your Love – Is That True?They totally changed my perspective on relationships, in a good way! When you detach from the need for constant reassurance from others, you truly grow up. Your partner isn’t meant to be your counsellor or guardian – it’s unrealistic to expect them to be supportive all the time. Even the Sun in the sky needs a break once a day!
6) Who, being loved, is poor? (Oscar Wilde)
It only takes one person to open your heart to love. Once you have fallen in love you carry that ability with you for the rest of your life – it is never lost! In the end, it’s not your partner who gives you the feeling of bliss – it’s actually you opening the gates to your heart. I often recommend chanting and meditation for people who’d like to know how to feel loved without always being in a relationship.
The most important relationship you will ever have is with your Higher Self (Soul)…in my philosophy you are 1% physical and 99% spiritual, so the love you feel when you are best friends with your Soul is truly miraculous. It’s the feeling of immortality. What a gift to bring into a relationship with your partner. You become two wholes instead of two halves (that’s the secret of Master 11 Numerology!).
7) The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose (Hadia Bejar).
It’s ok if your loved one doesn’t always return your affection. The very act of helping someone from a place of love heals and strengthens our Heart Chakra. The more you share love, the easier it becomes to simply ‘be love’. You know you are in the presence of a loving person when they simply look at you and you feel like time stands still. Love brings us deeper into the present moment.
8) True love is inner growth.
Something I have learned the hard way is that our soulmates are not always here to make us happy. They are here to stimulate our evolution. You know that someone loves you when they are willing to be the bad guy at times, and tell you when you’re avoiding your life purpose. The true measure of a successful relationship is not what you say you’ll do together – it’s what you actually create in the world, whether that’s more fun, children, money, knowledge etc.
9) Love knows that a No to others is a Yes to yourself (after Paulo Coehlo).
Cats are inherently loving. I say this because if you step on a cat’s tail, it will meow and move away. It doesn’t stay silent! When you say No to someone’s demands, you send a message to the world that you value your time and energy. Love has boundaries – it’s like a parent who stops their child from running across the road when there’s traffic. It’s not about giving into someone’s every demand – that’s actually fear in disguise.
10) You are, and always have been, love looking for itself.
As Gangaji talks about, you are the diamond in your pocket…there is no greater healing than being able to look at yourself in the mirror and truly celebrate who you have become. Everyone in your life, even me, is a reflection of you. You can never cut someone out of your life (even if they die their Soul still exists).
What you can do, is to look for that disowned part of you (or shadow) that is exactly like them. When you can see that no one is truly innocent or guilty, then love will naturally return. I’m studying past life regression with the very gifted Toni Reilly this year and it’s so obvious that we’ve been the good guys and villains many times over. Read more on my past life experiences (they can be linked to 11:11 on clock sightings).
11) You can dig many holes and never find love, but if you dig deeply enough you will always find it.
If you spend enough time with someone, you will always find something to love in them. What I love about counselling modalities like Family Constellations is that they reunite you with the love of your ancestors. It doesn’t matter how much conflict there has been between family members – through a constellation you can connect with the love that brought you into the world. Just imagine – thousands of people had to come together to create you…you truly are a work of art.
When I think of humanity, I visualise people surrounding a giant lake – some are drinking the sweet water, while others are lost and trying to find their way back. For me, the water or lake represents consciousness and love. Cai Guo-Qiang’s magnificent art installation Falling Back to Earth reminds me of this vision.
12) People are ALWAYS either asking for, or giving love (as told to me by Peter Conna).
I believe that souls come to Earth to learn about love – one of the most profound things anyone ever said to me was that people are either asking us for love (e.g. by criticising us or themselves) or giving us love. When you can see that everyone wants to feel special and they are simply trying to chase that feeling, your heart inevitably softens.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this philosophical take on love. I wish you a wonderful Valentine’s Day this weekend. I’d like to finish with a heart-opening prayer that I wrote and say every morning:
Today, may I
(touch your head) think only love,
(touch your eyes) see only love,
(touch your ears) hear only love,
(touch your nose) breathe only love,
(touch your lips) speak only love,
(touch your heart), beat with the heart of love,
(stretch your arms out) reach out with the arms of love,
(stomp feet a few times) and walk with the feet of love.
Help me to be love meeting love today. May I see only love in myself and others, and may others see only love in themselves and me today. Amen.
Since 2007, I have devoted my life to helping people recover from crises and create lives of balance. If you would like a life purpose forecast for 2015, book online or come and meet me at an event. I often read for couples and families – my readings are very down to earth and can help you to bring more love into any relationship!
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