Full house. Full heart. We have three sons now. I’m a triple son/ sun goddess. I never thought I’d have this reality. The picture was always a boy and a girl. I still feel an ache when I see mums and daughters holding hands. Perhaps that will always be.
While I heal from near-mastitis, I have had a lot of realisations about where my heart and self-love have been stuck.
So I’m acknowledging myself this week for creating a family with Kris against the odds.
Here are some of the confronting choices I made to get to this photo:
– I put my savings into a 1 year personal growth program in 2007, instead of buying a house (it was my personal 1 year of beginnings in numerology, which I didn’t know until later). Find your personal year
I started my psychic business in that course to ensure I would a) be able to prioritise my mental health and avoid activating the depression genes, b) so I could one day stay at home with my kids and c) so I wouldn’t pass on as much crap to them (what you don’t transmute, you transfer)
-I chose palmistry over my charity career and the wishes of my family, some of whom no longer approve of me for religious reasons.
-I went public with my ‘witchy work’ on TV (that was the day I met Kris, reading his palmistry in a relationships show! Go to 3min 41sec in the video below to see our first meeting.
-I got treated for anorexia, which involved therapy plus eating meat again (I had restricted my diet too much). Eating organic meat and broth keeps me fertile, thriving and connected to my culture. The Dalai Lama’s decision to eat meat for health reasons helped me to do this too. About 75% of my friends are meat-free still.
-I overcame truckloads of opposition to have kids ‘my way’, including a child before marriage. Giving birth with presence really is equivalent to several years’ meditation!
And more. I always thought I would have seen the world, written books and cleared my worries by 40 but I’m happy I focused on babies and business (busyness).
I am so grateful to the loved ones and teachers who helped me, especially women who said, ‘don’t stay in bad relationships so long that you miss out on motherhood’. You saved me.