My Past Life Regression – A Mother’s Sacrifice (Trigger Warning)

Here’s a write up of a past life regression I did on myself, about a mother’s sacrifice. Please note, this post comes with a trigger warning as it contains references to infant death, violence and the separation of children from their parents.

2019 is a Universal 12/3 Year of Inner Child Healing and Creative Breakthroughs. This is a year to reparent yourself, spend time on childhood dreams or with kids, and to reclaim your innocence and optimism. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. See this webinar for your 2019 forecast and how to predict your personal years. I also have more workshops and classes listed here.

FYI, I will return to offering past life regressions in 2019, stay tuned for updates (you can sign up on my homepage). My friend Vicki Haspels is an excellent past life regression therapist in Brisbane and psychic medium you can contact.

What is past life regression?

A type of hypnosis, which places you into a light or heavy trance (I use the former), so that you can ‘travel’ and receive information from your Soul to help you to solve current problems and remove stuckness. Regressions are an amazing tool for transforming your understanding of lifelong phobias, chronic issues (like toxic relationships, health or financial issues) and addictive behaviours. They can bring light and progress to situations where no amount of logic or willpower has made a difference.

I’ve been studying past life regression with Toni Reilly  since 2015. Since then, I have facilitated many sessions for myself and others, in order to clear subconscious baggage. What I love about regression is the holistic accuracy and immediacy of the results. There’s no middle man or woman. Depending on where I’m guided, I can access past lives, return to my life between lives (aka ‘Heaven’, or where I go between bodies) and move backwards and forwards through my current life, as if I were viewing a movie.

Background
Last month (December) was a Mercury Retrograde, the perfect time to find answers to life’s biggest questions. As a Master 11 lifepath, 2018 was challenging for me, because it was also a Universal 11 Year for the Planet. There were so many wake ups and break ups, that I felt pretty tired by the end. After attending a talk with Lee Carroll (Kryon) in Brisbane (stay tuned for a blog), I received a massive dose of energy, which helped me to find a truer reality and to be more courageous.

I knew it was time to reset myself for a number of reasons. These included: feeling tired, having dark thoughts, noticing my kids were clingy, seeing lots of 11:11 and repeating numbers, experiencing copyright violations (where people misused my blog) and lots of frustration around ‘giving things away for free or not being able to grow my ideas’.

I also developed a chesty cough each time I tried to wean Charlie. A similar thing happened with Forrest in 2016 – I kept coughing until I lost my voice and had to stop breastfeeding due to illness. Coughing is a sign of a blocked throat chakra – being unable to speak up for yourself or to get things off your chest.

Interestingly, a week after weaning Forrest, I fell pregnant with Charlie, so in hindsight it was meant to be. They are very close, not only in age, but in friendship. There’s no question they have travelled together as Souls for many lifetimes. Even now, Charlie loves to race through open doors, he’s quite a tailgator.

A regression can only be done when the body, mind and Spirit are ready. You can’t ‘force’ yourself or another person to do one. Everyone has to be on board, before you launch the rocket. Sometimes, we need to have certain experiences before we’re given the background. For example, although I tried to regress myself a week earlier, I just fell asleep or kept ‘floating in space’, so I knew it wasn’t the time.

A disclaimer: Unless you have been trained, it’s best not to go into trance without an observer. I have not only done Toni’s course twice , I’ve studied Holistic counselling with the Awakening Group and meditate/ do psychic readings on a near-daily basis. Years of practice have given me a bulletproof connection with my Spirit Guides and even then I still get confused at times. Unless you are confident, please see a professional therapist for past life regression, as you’ll have a deeper experience. It takes a lot of discipline and energy to access other realms.

Plus, we tend to doubt ourselves unless we have a witness, especially the first few times we do a regression. Here’s a post on my flashbacks in Toni Reilly’s course to give you an idea 

What happened in my past life regression?

Firstly, I placed myself in a white bubble and covered it with gold dust. Then I relaxed all part of my body, step by step. Then I did a couple of check-ins to make sure my Soul was ready.  It’s good to set an intention, so I asked ‘how can I help Charlie (who’s been super restless)? and ‘how can I recover my energy, because I’m feeling so drained?’

After sending my Spirit upwards, I saw a flash of people placing a baby’s body in a fire. As soon as that happened, Charlie cried next to me (for a second). I knew this was a confirmation. I was so shocked, I almost stopped the regression, but part of me knew I had to go ‘in and through the feelings’. So I returned. For me, a regression is like watching a documentary, only I can rewind, pause and fast forward, plus experience the feelings of the different actors.

In summary, this was a past life where I was a female (about 21yo), who was chosen to bear a child as a sacrifice for a city. The idea was that, the baby’s life would be offered to the Gods, so the citizens could flourish. I recognised the baby’s Soul as my son Forrest and my eyes flew open, just as Forrest yelled out in the next room, briefly. The timing was no coincidence.

I was part of a group of women who performed spiritual duties (similar to Vestal Virgins, but in another civilisation). My leaders believed that I had the strength of character to follow through with their order. After being impregnated by an official, I was looked after through pregnancy. Despite a difficult birth (due to all the people around me), the baby arrived healthy and I was allowed to nurse him until he weaned, and was ready to be sacrificed.

In this woman’s body, I felt so alone. However, I didn’t let anyone see my feelings, in case they used them against me. Why didn’t I say no to being picked? Because, I believed that, if I resisted, not only would I be killed, but someone else would have to suffer and I could see the fear in my sisters’ faces. Also, I felt a karmic link with the baby. He telepathed that he knew what was going to happen and that there was a greater reason for this tragedy.

To cut a long story short, when the baby weaned himself, I tried to hide it but after a few days the attendants noticed and I was given three weeks to get him ready for the ritual. At this point I was bawling in my trance – even writing this the tears come back. On the day, they drugged us, so the baby was thankfully asleep. I won’t go into details, but basically, after he was killed painlessly by someone else, his body was placed into a ceremonial fire.

The minute that happened, I turned and walked away. I was taken by cart to a forest, where I lived in exile in a hut with animals, making herbal mixtures . You could say I was a sort of witch. As a ‘reward’ for my obedience, I was allowed to live as a free woman, which was rare in those times. I never married or had more children as the scars were too deep. When I fell sick around 45, I created a potion to put myself to sleep. My son’s spirit came back to take me home, and I experienced total forgiveness with him as we ascended.

What happened in the regression debrief?
One of the reasons to work with a therapist, is so that you can go back and ask your Soul for answers. I’m able to do this part of the process for myself, as I can temporarily dissociate my mind and body (long story, but it was how I coped with a difficult childhood).

Here’s what I asked the woman’s Soul in the regression (theoretically, the woman’s Soul is part of my Soul)
What was your purpose? To experience freedom through sacrifice
Did you fulfil your purpose? Yes
What was your greatest joy? Having a baby and also the time I spent in the forest alone
What was your greatest regret? Not feeling I had a choice/ could escape my shackles
Why have I (as in, the current me) come back? To clear the karma
How can I do this? By helping Forrest (and Charlie) to have long, happy lives without religious persecution
How has this lifetime been affecting me? You’ve been too scared of success and money, in case you become heartless and cruel, like the authorities in the story
What is the next step? To start singing and chanting again/ raise your vibration

I added an extra step, where I talked to the baby’s Soul:
What was the purpose of this lifetime? To do all my learning in one go and leap to the next level of consciousness
What happened to you next? I went on to become a Guardian
Why have you come back as Forrest? I wanted a bonus round (Forrest has said this to me many times telepathically)
What is the next step? (the baby handed me a key which fit my heart, and I felt myself singing confidently) Music
Anything else you want me to know? You have a strength of character that’s come from completing many difficult lifetimes

Conclusion and reflections
Whoa. I have done many regressions on myself, but this was a doozy. Really emotional and painful (although 90% of the feelings lifted after the trance). Whether you believe regressions are ‘real’ or simply ‘metaphorical’ information we are given to clear an issue, the impact can be massive and tangible.

Afterwards, I jumped up, pulled out a CD I made for Forrest’s birth in 2016, and started chanting for the first time in months. Charlie and Forrest woke up and came to me, and I noticed that they looked different (Charlie had a mozzie bite on his third eye/ forehead, so he looked like a cute alien!) Even the trees were were greener and bluer. Good sign.

Now I knew one of the reasons why, when Forrest was nine months old, I developed the cough mentioned above, which almost put me into hospital (I was coughing for hours, until blood was coming up). The same thing happened when Charlie hit nine months, but I worked through it, and kept nursing. I had an unconscious fear of weaning my children in case they were taken away or worse.

In the weeks before this regression, I was visited by a girl Spirit, who wants to be our next child  (see Charlie’s birth story). After much debate, I asked her to wait two years in a message I recorded on my phone – thanks Carmen Low Kinesiology for your help there. The whole time (8 minutes) I talked to the Spirit, my body was covered in goosebumps and I even felt her kiss me and hold my hand.

This child previously popped up in a Tarot reading Kris did for me. When I asked ‘is there a third child?’, a card flew out and hit me with Tink (as in Tinkerbell) on it – see the photo. She’s a little girl with her hands on her hips looking a annoyed. Talk about confirmation. See my related post on Tink – Why I’ve Asked My Spirit Baby to Wait Two Years

So, I guess all the baby energy forced me to clear this past life trauma. Interestingly, at 21 this lifetime, I was engaged and ready to have kids, but freaked out and ended the relationship.  I’m glad I was able to clear the pain today, instead of staying in a dark night of the Soul. Truly, education is the path to freedom. 

4/12 /2018 update – I’ve felt much lighter since this regression. In fact, I turned up to a call with my coach, Lotus Kruse and said ‘I’m ready to succeed now!’ As mentioned earlier, I was having copyright issues with my blog, so the idea of ‘protecting my babies/ ideas’ instead of ‘giving them away in fear’ makes sense. Can’t wait to see what opportunities come in next.

23/1/ 2018 update –  Hooray! I’m still feeding Charlie, despite a few lingering throat issues. Both my children are thriving. Also, I have lost the fear of Forrest being taken away. Basically, two psychics had told me that Forrest would leave me at age 3 and/ or one of my kids would die before me – see points 3) and 5) in The Five Craziest Things Psychics Have Told Me – Why This Industry is Buyer Beware. No wonder I had anxiety after Forrest was born.

I must have worried about him dying or leaving me about 1,000 times, but since this regression, the thought has gone. What also helped was talking to a friend (I think it was Vicki Haspels or Caroline Byrd), who said, ‘the psychic probably confused Forrest going to long daycare with him leaving’. Makes sense. In terms of work, I’ve finally launched my online classes, after years of planning. And I’m singing all the time with the kids. The future is looking good.

2021 Update – Our third child Ziggy has arrived!

In hindsight, I can see many signs that this life was calling me:
-For years, I’ve been repulsed by the story of Dr Josef Mengele (a 22/4 lifepath*) impregnating a prisoner then autopsying her. While researching him, I came across Dr Gisella Perl, who saved the lives of mothers in Auschwitz (she was a 21/3 Angel lifepath, as is my son Charlie.) *TWINS adds to 22/4, sadly that’s the subject Mengele was obsessed with.
-While updating my 33 lifepath post and numerology course, I looked up Sophie’s Choice, the movie Meryl Streep made at 33, her lifepath turning point as a Master 33. I watched an excerpt, where Sophie has to choose which of her children will be sent to a concentration camp, and couldn’t stop crying for ages.
-I’ve been researching Albanian stories like Rozafa, the mother walled up in castle as a sacrifice – see her mythical story.
-I’ve been researching the Vestal Virgins, who were buried alive if they broke their vows of chastity. I’ll blog on this topic in future.
-I’ve been feeling ‘buried’ by obligations, bills and religious expectations and unable to act on new opportunities for fear of persecution. I’ve had the thought for years, ‘if I do something wrong, they will take my children or hurt them’.

Please note: This article in no way condones violence against women or children. Past life regression takes us back in time, so we can understand our choices. It’s about creating awareness, not fatalism. Spirit still encourages us to question authority and make the world a safer place. When we can see history from a new angle, we free ourselves to live our current purpose. Find your lifepath

Recommended Links
Toni Reilly wrote this helpful feedback when I sent her this post: “What a detailed account of your recall. How fitting, the fact that it addresses incidents in your life at 21, and when Forrest was 9 months and now that Charlie is weaning is amazing. You have articulated it well. The soul, your soul only ever gives you what you can handle and what you need at the time you access memories.

Regression content is not tempered by ego or fear, it is not sullied by current personal values or beliefs, the memories are given as pure recollection of what actually happened.  It is most important when facilitating (for someone or for yourself) to find out why, as you demonstrated by speaking with your soul (the soul of the woman in that lifetime) asking for messages and the purpose of the life.”

Other Past Life Regression Posts
Conscious Wisdom Podcast – Past Lives, Ghosts & Crystal Healing
Past Life Regression – My Flashbacks in Toni Reilly’s Course
Angel and the Apple Farmer
The Hunter Who Loved Cheese
Once a Soldier, Always a Soldier
Past Lives Exist – A Warrior’s Flashback

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